


Special Delivery: Large Sausage with Extra Cheese

by LinksLipsSinkShips



Series: Bad Porn Parody [1]
Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Pizza, Please Don't Hate Me, but seriously it's supposed to read like bad porn, i swear to god I can write more than rhett/link/chase, pun intended, that's intentional, this is cheesy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 05:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14784044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinksLipsSinkShips/pseuds/LinksLipsSinkShips
Summary: Smoking hot and ready College Roommates Rhett and Link are dying for some large sausage, and not of the pizza variety. Naturally, they have the biggest boners thinking of the super hot pizza guy, dick heavy Chase, and how they want him to fill them up with that delicious sausage. Hungry for Link's long schlong, Chase has no problem sinking to his knees and devouring the delicious meat stick. Of course, Rhett can't resist taking his tongue talents down south. After a tongue-twirling double dick sucking, the boys are ready to impale each other with dangerously good dicks. The beautiful boner blower Chase finds himself sandwiched between the veiny groins of the college duo, letting Link pound him as he presses his piece into Rhett. Rhett's hungry to have his tight hole filled with thick sausages, though, and the two top dogs dig their dicks into Rhett's pretty pink pucker, dominating his hole with their porn perfect precision. Read as these Mythical Boys work to cover Rhett in their special sauce. It's a special delivery of sausage that's sure to delight.Note: This is meant to read like a bad porn watches. So... everything in here is intentional. I promise.





	Special Delivery: Large Sausage with Extra Cheese

Rhett was surprised at the knock on the door already. This delivery was unusually fast; Link barely had time to take a shower and it was already at their dorm. He swung open the door and leaned casually against it. “Hey.”

“I’ve got a, uh,” the pizza guy read the receipt, “large sausage for you?”

“Oh do you, now?” Rhett raised an eyebrow, teasing with a sly grin as his cheeks made the innuendo more obvious than it already was. The pizza guy blushed and passed him a receipt. Rhett took the time to calculate a tip far over the standard 20% because  _ damn _ , this guy was hot.

“I have to admit when I saw the order, I almost expected a sexy brunette to come to the door half-naked,” the pizza guy said, sharing a conspiratorial wink with Rhett. “I was all, uh, hot and ready for it, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh? What  _ do  _ you mean?” Rhett asked, smoothing a hand through his hair. Not like he didn’t already know, of course, but he really wanted the pizza guy to  _ say it _ .

“You know, like in…” the pizza guy lowered his voice to a near-whisper “...really cheesy porn?”

“Oh, right,” Rhett said, nodding with a half-smile. He turned back into the dorm and hollered “Hey, Link. Pizza! Come here for a sec.” Link stepped into view, hair still wet and slicked back from the shower. He had a towel wrapped around his waist snugly. Rhett turned back to the pizza guy with a raised eyebrow. “You ordered a half-naked sexy brunet?” he asked, then turned to Link with a nonplussed look. “Apparently tall blonds aren’t his type.”

The pizza guy took a moment to look Link, and then Rhett, up and down slowly. “Oh, I certainly don’t, uh, discriminate.”

Link grinned in response, leaning against the doorframe. One of his hands held the knot of his towel to keep it in place, which left his bicep on full display and the curve of his spine showed off his flexed abs nicely. The pizza guy could barely tear his eyes away. “So,” Link looked at him and reached out to flick his nametag, “Chase… what have you got there?” Chase realized then that he was still holding the pizza, still standing in their doorway much longer than he should have been.

“My large sausage,” Chase answered. “Or, uh, I mean  _ your  _ large sausage,” he corrected. “Your pizza!” he finally settled on, completely flustered. Link took the pizza box and opened it, inhaling the scent of it with a small groan.

“God, that smells good,” Link said, then scanned his eyes down Chase’s body. “I bet your sausage is absolutely delicious.” He bit his lip to consider it for a second, then asked “What do you think? Is it any good?”

“I’m not sure,” Chase replied. “I’ve had my share of sausage in the past, but never mine… ours!”

“That’s a shame,” Rhett said. “You should come inside…”

“Yeah, Chase,” Link licked his lips. “You should have a little taste before you leave.”

Chase glanced at his watch quickly, then stepped inside the dorm as Rhett shut the door behind him. “I’ve heard this place is really hard to find, and it’s easy to get lost. I’m sure my boss will understand if I’m a few minutes late getting back. I probably just took a wrong turn, right?”

Link placed the pizza box on a desk and opened it. “Yeah, exactly. One wrong turn can get you all the way on the wrong side of town easily. It could take a good half hour or so to get back on track.” He picked a piece of sausage off of the pizza, holding it between his forefinger and thumb and offered it up to Chase’s mouth. “Here,” he said. “Try it.”

Chase didn’t have a choice but to lean forward and pluck it from Link’s fingers by wrapping his lips around them, using his tongue to slide the sausage into his mouth. He didn’t miss the small whimper that escaped Link’s lips, and he grinned with pride as he chewed. Chase was well aware of how good he was with his tongue.

“That’s pretty good,” Chase smiled. “How about you have some?” He lifted a slice of pizza from the box and held it to Link’s lips, eyes begging him to take a bite. Link stuck his tongue out to catch the tip of the pizza, lifting it into his mouth with his tongue and taking a bite, his eye contact unwavering.

The taste of the pizza lingered in his mouth. “Rhett,” Link said, “taste it.” He leaned into Rhett, his tongue flashing out of his mouth as Rhett opened his, tangling their tongues and letting their lips collide after. Rhett wrapped a hand around the back of Link’s head to hold him in place and deepen the kiss, and Chase could hardly contain himself as he watched.

Rhett reached a hand forward, putting a hand on Link’s hip and nudging his towel down, forcing it to the floor. “Oops,” he said, pulling away from the kiss. Neither of them moved to get it.

Chase sank to the floor on his knees. “Here, let me get that for you.” He picked up the towel, leaning his head against Link’s leg to guide it up over Link’s backside. He sat up, face to face with Link’s cock, and used the towel to tug Link forward. “That better?” he asked Link, gazing up and placing the corners of the towel into Link’s hands.

“Yeah,” Link grinned. “You like the taste of sausage, Chase?” He let the towel fall back down, running his fingers through Chase’s hair.

“I  _ love  _ sausage,” Chase said, letting his hand graze and then stroke Link’s cock. He took it in his mouth and worked it slowly, putting his tongue skills on full display.

“Yeah,” Link growled. “Eat that sausage, baby… that’s so good.”

Chase worked Link with his mouth, letting Link’s massive cock slam against the back of his throat again and again as his eyes watered. He looked up, watching Link lean into Rhett for a kiss. Link lifted a slice of pizza to Rhett’s lips, guiding it into his mouth with one hand as he used the other hand to slap his dick against Chase’s face, then slide it into his mouth. Link loved feeding Rhett  _ and  _ Chase in dramatically different ways, purring at the feeling of Chase’s lips stroking his cock.

Rhett unbuttoned his pants and slid them down, allowing Link to stroke Rhett’s girthy cock. Now that it was an option, Chase moved between them, letting his hand and mouth explore between both of his pizza delivery customers. He leaned back to take his shirt off as Rhett sank to his knees beside him, and Link allowed his hands to explore, sliding down Chase’s chest to tweak his nipples and rub his pecs. Chase and Rhett shared Link’s dick, each of them taking one side of his long schlong between their lips and running their tongues along the length. 

“Here,” Link said, pulling Rhett back up to his side, then forcing both of them into Chase’s mouth at once. He struggled to wrap his lips around both Link  _ and  _ Rhett, especially since Rhett was so thick and Link was so long, but he let his lips stretch to take them both. Rhett could feel his cock straining against Chase’s lips and nudging against Link’s hard erection. Chase took them like a champ and Rhett wondered what else could accommodate two dicks at once.

From there, no one was quite sure what happened. They were a tangle of mouths, cocks, and fingers, all remaining clothes shed and the pizza long forgotten. Link found himself on the futon, stroking his cock with his hand and sliding a condom onto his long member. Chase watched, then sat on Link’s lap, with his back to Link’s chest, letting Link guide his cock deep into Chase’s tiny ass.

Once it was buried in him, Chase couldn’t help but go for a ride, bouncing on Link’s lap to take it deep and groan loudly. He was whiny as a bottom, needy and whimpering, taking it hard and punctuating each time he impaled himself on Link’s length with a soft “uh, uh, uh.” Rhett leaned down to suck Chase off, letting each thrust drive Chase’s delightful dick deep into his throat. 

Rhett needed more, guiding a condom onto Chase’s cock, then sat facing him, letting Chase pound into him. He gave Link plenty of room to move, thrusting into Chase and forcing him up into Rhett, who whined at the intrusion and fullness. Rhett’s cock was close to Chase, close enough that Chase could take matters into his own hand, stroking Rhett as he worked between the two of them, fucking Rhett while getting fucked by Link.

But Rhett needed more,  _ craved  _ more of the stunning sausages in his tight hole. He climbed off of Chase, begging for a change of position to let them stretch him as far as possible. Rhett took Chase’s place on Link’s lap, leaning into Link and resting his head on the back of the futon while Link kissed his neck. Chase lined himself up and pushed into Rhett, his desires fulfilled as his dick slid against Link’s. They alternated thrusts, sliding against each other and against Rhett’s tight asshole, causing Rhett to cry out and beg for them to move faster.

Chase could feel every long inch of Link against him, every bit of their sausages colliding in a masterful sword fight inside of Rhett’s ass. Rhett was desperate and whiny, continuing until Chase was panting and begging for release, sliding out of Rhett.

Rhett sank to the floor by the futon, leaning back and stroking until he had coated his stomach with his own come, then watching as Link and Chase brought themselves to release their special sauce all over his waiting mouth, face, and chinstrap beard. As Rhett wiped his eyes, he pulled Chase and Link both down into a kiss, all three of their tongues passionately seeking each other and tasting their come on his lips and tongue.

Chase straightened up, pulling his uniform back on. “I’ve got to go before they wonder where I’ve been,” he said, walking toward the door with Rhett pulling him back for one more kiss. “Enjoy your pizza.”

Chase didn’t want to wait long for another opportunity to serve up some hot sausage to the pair he’d met. That’s why he was especially thankful when the next day, he found the delivery slip for another pizza with a familiar order and address. He snatched it out of the hands of a co-worker. “I’ve got this one.”

Once there, he took his time, letting them spitroast him, Link in his mouth and Rhett in his firm ass, letting him choke on cock and come and his own saliva, letting Rhett pound his meat stick into him until, with a loud grunt, Rhett came.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks endlessly to clemwasjustagirl/shewasjustagirl for encouraging this mess.


End file.
